Rowan Bay Chrysler Heather – Review

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Heather is the second Chrysler Wrap I’ve tried from Rowan Bay, the first being a more blue colourway (review here). The Heather tester I’ve got is much longer than the other one I had, and I’m grateful for that as it means that I can really enjoy this wrap more and get to know it better.

Ok so, aesthetically Heather is definitely more up my street.

19495793_10154799639450945_1352379715_oIt’s a blend of rich purple and sandy tones, while retaining the same repeated V pattern. The colourway suits the design in my opinion; both are understated and modern feeling.

 

Heather is the same gsm as the first tester, but it has been woven with different yarn and I feel this has made a world of difference. This wrap feels cushy in hand, with a very nice diagonal spring – the recoil is lovely and noticeable. It feels softer than the original and despite having the same gsm of 350, this doesn’t feel quite solid.

To wrap with, Heather is still a dense wrap, but it has more movement and more mouldability. I used it with both two month old Patrick and three year old Rosie, and although I liked it for the baby it most definitely shone for the toddler.

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Heather landed during a heatwave, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn’t a nightmare for hot weather. Patrick and I both stayed actually quite cool, which was nice as wrapping can often be a sweaty affair! We tried a few different carries and Heather was lovely for all, although personally I’d prefer a thinner wrap with a baby this size.

 

 

 

Heather really shone when it came to Rosie. Even in a single layer carry, Heather gave me plenty of cush on the shoulders and really supported Rosie’s weight well (thank you double weave.) This wrap felt like it has more grip than it’s predecessor; there was no sliding or sagging once she was up and she was able to bounce away to her hearts content.

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We also tried it in a double hammock and it was a serious toddler prison. My DH skills are out of practice as it’s not often Rosie comes up now, but even so we got a great carry out of it. She really enjoyed herself and I found that the shoulder passes didn’t slide (my usual complaint about DH) and it held well even in a single knot.

19532012_10154799638935945_420064293_oOverall, I was really pleased with this latest iteration of Chrysler. It’s a great toddler wrap, it wrapped very well and it felt great. Well done Rowan Bay, Rosie and I think you’ve nailed it.

Best of British – Top Five

A few days ago I asked on Not Just Rosie’s Mum Facebook page who people would suggest as a round up of the five best British companies. There was a great response, with a few companies standing out as clear favourites. Honestly, I think we’re pretty lucky to have such a varied homegrown market.

Without further ado, here are my top picks:

Best High End 

Lawilde are hands down my favourite high end British company. Their wraps are sophistication, glamour, pure luxury and just oh so British. I particularly enjoy the Lewis design; it’s lived here in three different colour ways and three different blends and it’s nothing short of perfect. Lawilde, in my opinion, are somewhat underrated – I don’t see them at shows very often and I rarely see the same hype that other high end companies seem to have – but for me that’s part of the appeal. They are understated and classy as hell. they don’t churn out wrap after wrap, but what they do release is incredibly high quality.

Honourable mention: Woven Wings, a popular high end company with some really lovely staple designs.

Best All Rounder 

Oscha Slings are a British giant. Based in Scotland, they have by far the largest variety of wraps, carriers, and accessories. Every blend, size, colour, design, price, and wrap quality you can think of – they have it. With plenty of in stock options, there’s always something available. For those who like the thrill of the chase, plenty of their more highly sought after carriers go to fastest finger first. They have designed and developed their own structured carriers, which is a fabulous option for those who want pretties but don’t wrap. They also have a wide range of design aesthetics, and even include a boutique and handwoven range for when you’re feeling super fancy. Oscha are good attenders at exhibitions, meaning that you have a good chance at getting to see them up close and personal before committing cash. They have a bargain basket too usually, and that will always be a winner in my eyes.

Honourable mention: Joy and Joe, another company with a wide range of aesthetics and blends.

Best Handweaver 

To The Loom and Back is my favourite UK handweaver. Sian’s work is nothing short of incredible – her selvedges are perfection, and there’s never a thread out of place. She knows her stuff too, and is always happy to advise or recommend regarding weave structure and blend to get just the right wrap qualities to make the wrap fit your exact specifications. Her use of dye and colour is also exquisite, creating beautiful wraps that are always amazing. I cannot recommend her highly enough.

Honourable mention: Feather and Hay, for their beautiful rainbows.

Best Value For Money 

Wrapahula come top here for me. To clarify, by value for money I don’t mean cheap. They’re reasonably priced, and you get a lot for that price. Excellent customer service, a good community in the chatter group, and genuinely lovely wraps that require very little breaking in – I’ve had to work much harder to break in more exclusive wraps, and I’ve paid much more for wraps that haven’t wrapped half as well. Wrapahula feel particularly accessible to me; they work to maintain stock on the website so that newbies will always have a choice of purchase, and the fact that their wraps need so little breaking in is again a good thing for new people who might be put off by that process. They have recently started to provide size 8 wraps, and also high quality bags with each carrier purchased – we put one to the test and I could carry my three year old in the bag easily.

Disclaimer – I do work with Wrapahula on some admin tasks, but this doesn’t make any of what I said any less true.  I wouldn’t want to be associated with a company that I thought were anything other than genuinely good.

Honourable mention: Firespiral – another super lovely company with fantastic wraps at great value for money.

Best Ethical

This was a hard one to call between Baie Slings and Sycha Slings – but what tipped the balance for me was Baie’s Snow Geese wrap. Designed to aid partially sighted or sight impaired wrappers, Snow Geese has some pretty awesome use of texture in order to help people feel their way round it much easier and therefore use a woven easier. They also have their Appleseed range, which at a lower price point helps make wrapping more accessible. They’ve raised money more than once for various good causes, and just generally a super nice company.

Honourable mention: Sycha Slings, who donate a percentage of each wrap sold to charity.

And there you have it! My top five. Do you agree, or disagree? Who would you choose?

Pre Term to Full Term – Musings

Tomorrow, I’ll be 37 weeks pregnant. I’ll be officially full term, a status that I never thought I’d achieve after my only other pregnancy experience came to an abrupt finish at 34 weeks.

And, I can honestly say that this feels somewhat more emotional than I naively expected. I expected to feel happy, and relieved, but I did not expect to feel a tinge of sadness for the weeks I missed last time.

It feels like madness to think that by this stage I already had a three week old baby, that we’d been at home a week already, halfway through paternity leave and in the first full flush of new parenthood.

This time, this extra time (or so it seems), feels so bizarre and wonderful that I don’t want it to end. Yes, I feel enormous, yes, I can’t sleep, and yes, I have to pee approximately every eight minutes, but it’s glorious. 

I am constantly in awe of what my body has achieved, is still achieving, and I find myself unable to keep my hands or my mind off my growing bump – what do you look like in there baby? Are you a boy or a girl? Will you have Daddy’s blue eyes eventually, or my brown ones? Will you have curls like your sister?

I feel both excited to finally meet you and yet simultaneously hysterical about it – I have no idea how to be a mother to two children, how on earth am I supposed to balance the needs of two very different people?

All I know right now is that I love that you are still in there, still hiccuping and still kicking my ribs, more importantly still growing and still packing on all that vital fat and still finishing off the finer points of your development – all of the things you’ll need to make your early life so much easier and less of a struggle than your sister’s.

Call me crazy but I don’t want to share you just yet. I want to go the full 42, I want to glare at people who don’t let me sit down on the bus, I want to be able to post a status asking people to stop asking me if I’ve had you yet, I want to waddle everywhere instead of walking, I want it and I want it all. The full pregnancy experience. It is such a fleeting time, really, the time in which you are only mine and we are bonded by blood.

And so I appreciate and enjoy every day of whatever remains of this pregnancy. Every extra pregnant day is like a blessing, and the further I get from that 34 week milestone the more relaxed and excited I become. Part of me will probably always miss and mourn for that 6 weeks I lost the first time, but already, even on the eve of 37 weeks, this feels like healing.

 

Liora Rae Bloom – Review

 

17195352_10154487083020945_616897190_oBloom is the second wrap I’ve tested for Liora Rae – the first, Flow, can be seen reviewed here – so you can imagine I was excited to see how Bloom would s17200460_10154487080945945_1525753975_otack up in comparison.

Bloom is a purple and duck egg blue riot of florals on a large scale geometric background – it’s a very busy pattern and this gives it great texture. In hand, Bloom does feel textured
but not rough. The fabric feels well broken in and floppy, and there is a heaviness to the wrap thanks to a double weave which gives it a 320gsm – a little higher than I usually prefer but Bloom does not wrap like a dense heavyweight.

In fact, it wraps beautifully.We tried Bloom in a few different carries, including double hammock and ruck variations, and it was just great with every single one. The fabric has lovely movement and molds beautifully, passes are easy to make and I experienced no slippage with this wrap. Even a single knot held well.

17200572_10154487084905945_341634394_oBloom was brilliant in a single layer carry, thanks to it’s sturdy double weave, but  I think it really shone in multi layer carries because that’s where you really get to see those great wrap qualities shine. I think this would be equally good as a shortie or a long wrap and although it wouldn’t be my first choice for a newborn, it’s definitely got the potential to be a fantastic all rounder for older babies right through to pre schoolers.

The busy pattern and close weave of Bloom is another reason that it should be a good wrap for older babies – you won’t be able to see every smudge from sticky fingers or muddy shoes, and it shouldn’t pull every ten seconds either.

Again, as per Flow, the hemming and labelling is perfection, and the wrap came with a tote and booklet.

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Overall, I loved how this wrapped. I found myself reaching for it because I wanted to wrap with it, rather than because I had to. It was genuinely a pleasure to use, and I think Liora Rae have really got something right with Bloom.

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It’s bloomin’ lovely. (Sorry. I’ll see myself out.)

 

Mama Twofish Fiddle Necklace – Review

17036206_10154478438705945_1843686428_oMama Twofish is a UK based small business, headed by the lovely Susie, who make fiddle necklaces. Fiddle necklaces are intended as a sensory aid for babies and toddlers during breastfeeding, baby wearing or even just cuddling. With brightly coloured wooden beads and soft Nylon cord, these necklaces are not made for chewing on or teething but for fiddly  little fingers that might want to seek sensory or tactile input from a caregiver’s hair, clothes or skin. Athough they are not for chewing (as that can damage or mark the beads) the beads themselves are coloured with non toxic dye,which is reassuring to note.

Mama Twofish hav17015045_10154836266255090_1083810049_oe been in the necklace game since 2012, and offer custom necklaces to match wraps, carriers and even clothes, as well as a comprehensive in stock selection in their Etsy store.

I was recently approached by Mama Twofish herself, offering a custom necklace in exchange for an honest review and of course I was only too happy to oblige. Susie began by asking me what wraps or carriers I have, and after I shamefacedly admitted that I have nearly thirty, we tried to narrow it down by theme (also impossible).I eventually settled on matching to my beautiful custom handwoven from Paper Street Weaving  – a wrap I had made for my current womb dweller.

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I sent Susie some pictures of the wrap, as well as the inspiration photo it was based on, and within the space of a couple of hours she had gotten back to me with beautiful clear photos of a necklace she’d made in my colours. She asked for my thoughts and reassured me that she could re do if it wasn’t what I had in mind. I had a particular arrangement in mind, and I felt comfortable in discussing that with her. We shared some ideas back and forth and she sent photos of three different bead layouts based on our conversation, one of which was exactly what I had in mind.

Once we had decided on a finished product, the necklace arrived quickly and beautifully packaged, with the added treat of a fancy teabag. The necklace itself is well made, with a sliding knot that enables you to put it on over your head without having to faff with clasps – this also allows you to wear the necklace as long or as short as you like, but with a built in limiter to prevent any accidental choking. The beads vary in size, and feel smooth to touch. The 17148909_10154478438905945_1719165170_ooverall tactile effect is a pleasing one, and indeed my toddler was quite taken with it when we tried it on. Susie matched the necklace to my wrap perfectly colour wise, and I am very happy with the finished product. The custom process with Susie was a delight; she was attentive and clearly knew what to ask in order to get the best possible results.

Although the turn around time for my necklace was quite quick, she tells me that she usually advises potentially up to two weeks. The price point for her products is, I feel, quite reasonable at £13 to £14.50 for instock products (the lower priced necklaces are slightly smaller with slightly smaller beads) and £16 for a custom order. Postage is extra, but at £1.65 within the UK and £3.95 international it’s again very reasonable.

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All in all I’m very happy with this product; it’s worth what it costs and the custom process was lovely. I can definitely and happily recommend Mama Twofish for all your fiddle necklace needs.

Sycha Slings Space Bears Sunlit Pulsar – Review

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Sycha Slings is another new woven wrap company based in the UK. Set up by Sally Sycha (‘Sling Sally’) in 2016, Sycha Slings aims to enable as many people as possible to experience babywearing for themselves. They have two ranges, the Main Line and the Studio Line. Main Line wraps are produced in Turkey, as this makes them more affordable, and Studio Line wraps are produced here in the UK, making them slightly more expensive. A percentage of the price of any Sycha Slings wrap goes to a named charity; for this wrap it’s Cancer Research UK.

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We tested Space Bears in the Sunlit Pulsar colourway. Featuring a playful design of parent and baby bear in space together with gold and purple, Space Bears is a very striking wrap. I found that it looks much nicer and richer in colour in real life than photos can show, and it also features flecks throughout the wrap which give the appearance of stars.

In hand, Space Bears feels soft and dense. The purple side is very smooth, whereas the gold side is a little more textured. The hemming is neat and even, with unobtrusive labelling.

To wrap with Space Bears is beautiful. The passes are made easily, as the fabric glides 16910678_10154444622260945_1432676418_oacross itself, but the more textured gold areas help to lock it into place well. It has a springy diagonal stretch which makes getting a good secure pass nice and easy. Space Bears is a denser and heavier wrap than I usually go for at 290gsm, but was very lovely and supportive with a 30lb toddler, even for 30 week pregnant me.

We tried it in a variety of carries on the front and back, including multilayer and single layer. Space Bears shone best for us in a multi layer, but for an all cotton wrap it held up admirably even in a simple ruck.

 

I did hav16833212_10154444619885945_789147237_oe to tie right on tippy tails for a couple of carries (because I keep forgetting that my base is rapidly expanding) but this wasn’t a problem; it held well and didn’t fall apart.

All in all, we liked Space Bears here. It’s a good strong workhorse with a dense, pull resistant weave and the colours and design mean that dirty marks won’t be glaringly obvious either.

Space Bears Sunlit Pulsar is available to purchase here.

 

 

 

The Honeycomb Loom Sea – Review

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Last year, two of my favourite woven wrap comapanies, Baie Slings and Firespiral Slings, joined forces to collaborate on a new project called The Honeycomb Loom. Their aim was  to create affordable cloth, designed primarily to be perfect for carrying. With The Honeycomb Loom not only have they achieved that, but they’ve also achieved generally excellent fabric for essentially any sewing project you could dream up.

The Honeycomb Loom sells their fabric by the metre, meaning that you can customise your project in any way you want while remaining affordable. Their website has a few different col16442892_10154394689955945_2035580059_oourways of the same weave that you can buy for £12 per metre, with advice on how much to buy depending on what size wrap you hope to achieve. They also sell care labels and middle markers, which for some reason I find adorable.

You may, of course, have your fabric converted by whomever you choose, but The
Honeycomb Loom recommend Sling Betty. Conveniently, the
cloth is kept at the same building that she works from, so if you wanted you can buy your fabric, have it hemmed by her on site, and then sent out to you (thus minimizing postage costs).

 

If you wanted a size six with blunt tapers, you’d need 5m of fabric (they have a helpful piece on their website that explains how many meters you need for what sizes). This comes to £60 (£72 if you’d prefer angled tapers), add on £4.65 for postage and £20 for Sling Betty to hem, and you’ve got yourself a beautiful size six wrap from two of the industry’s finest makers for just £84.65. For £96.65, you’d have a size six with angled tapers. This is genuinely impressive; there are few sling companies where you can get beauty, quality, and also support local British businesses for that price.

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Now, onto the fabric itself! The tester arrived already hemmed by Sling Betty. I have absolutely no faults to pick with the stitching; it’s perfection. Honestly I expect no less, both Baie and Firespiral are known for high quality products so it stands to reason that anyone they work with will have similarly high standards.

With an indigo warp and a turquoise weft, Sea features something very similar to a diamond weave. It has noticeable diagonal stretch, and in hand it feels floppy with a fine, almost waffle-like texture. The colours, combined with the weave, puts me in mind of mermaids and scales. The turquoise definitely dominates, and it really changes the look of the indigo depending on the lighting. In some lights it appears almost like a dark raspberry.

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Wrapping was the real test. I’m 28 weeks pregnant, and my wrappee is a 30lb almost 3 year old. So it’s fair to say that Sea would be put through it’s paces!

 

While we are still carrying on a regular basis, I’ve definitely become more picky the more pregnant I’ve gotten. It’s become more important than ever that wraps are comfortable and hold well, in both single and multi layer carries. Sea fits all of my requirements and then some.

Our first up was in the house, just to give it a whirl. We don’t often wrap in the house as she’s too distracted by toys to want to be up for any length of time. I popped her in a double hammock with a candy cane finish and we were both wowed. The wrap moulded to us both w16466394_10154394689345945_864194960_oithout any fighting, and even for me and my notoriously slack wrap jobs, it was just wonderful. Rosie felt supported and snug, to the point where I asked her if she wanted to come down more than once and she refused. Now, with a double hammock, I often struggle to get all the slack out of the top rail (or I do and then some more magically appears after ten minutes
and the whole thing sags). When I tried this carry in Sea, it was noticeable how the top rail stayed exactly where I’d put it. She didn’t drop an inch.

And this turned out to be a theme that would continue with every use of Sea. I tried it in a variety of double hammocks, a Charlie’s carry tied diagonally, a kangaroo carry and a couple of differently finished rucks. With every carry I tried, Sea performed beautifully. It didn’t slip or sag, it held well and was supportive even in a single layer carry. Sea has just perfect amounts of grip and glide to make for a good carry, every time. That diagonal stretch combined with that subtle texture means it’s so easy to make a good snug carry and lock it into place.
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Rosie and I genuinely loved this wrap. It got used lots, and washed beautifully after an unexpectedly muddy outing. I’m honestly super sad to see it go, and I can say with confidence that there’ll be a Honeycomb Loom wrap on my shelves at some point in the future.

Overall, I thin16442797_10154394685485945_504799065_ok this is a really great all rounder of a wrap. Due to the weave I wouldn’t expect pulls, and that combined with all cotton puts this firmly in the workhorse category. It wraps very well and very easily; its no frills and no fuss but lots of awesome. Sea was wonderful with my toddler, and I feel it would be equally suited to smaller babies too. It’s a medium weight wrap so not mega chunky, and it’s not beastly stiff either. At risk of sounding a bit like Goldilocks, this wrap is just right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Partner Away Parenting

I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while. Partner Away Parenting is pretty much how it sounds; parenting while your partner is away – be they working away, in prison, or living long distance.

For us it’s working. Not Just Rosie’s Dad is a lorry driver, so often he will go to work on Monday at 4am and return Friday evening. Some nights he makes it home, but it’s usually a case of tea, bath, and bed for him as he needs to be up at the crack of dawn the next day.

We have had this life for a couple of years now, and during that time I’ve noticed lots of things:

  • There is almost no (bordering on zero) support for PAP. For example, were I a single parent, I’d be able to access Gingerbread, an online resource for single parents. However, because I’m married, there is no provision, no support network for me. It’s like we are a subset that doesn’t exist.
  • Healthcare professionals  just don’t get it. When I’ve been struggling, when I’ve gone and asked for help, they listen and then they tell me I’m doing too much, can my husband do more and pick up the slack? Well, considering he’s at the other side of the country, no, he cannot. There is only me. And they do not know what to say to me because my family does not fit into a neat little box of ‘single parent’ or ‘two parent family.’
  • Weekends are hard work. I would not compare myself to a single parent, but others have done and again, all that shows is how much they don’t get it. Yes, my husband is home on a weekend, but that does not mean it is all sunshine and rainbows. He is used to being master of his own domain all week, and then he’s home and he can’t remember where the bloody egg cups live, he doesn’t know the bedtime routine, he doesn’t know what channel My Little Pony is on, and he can’t work out what ‘da cowts’ means. (In case you were curious, it’s a two year old’s way of asking if she can let the cats out.) And naturally, he is frustrated. He does not feel at home in his own home. For me, I am used to my evening solitude, to my own space in bed, to going to sleep when I am ready. It is hard for both of us. Sometimes, it is easier for both of us when he is not here.
  • It has changed our relationship. We’ve never been particularly co-dependent, we’ve always had our own lives, but now more than ever we are both painfully aware that I do not need him. I run this shit five days a week all by myself, another two isn’t going to make a difference. I feel stronger, tougher, more capable. I feel it and he sees it. He sees it and feels threatened. What he doesn’t see is that I may not need him here, but I do want him here. And to me, that is a big difference.
  • Stating the obvious somewhat, but it’s bloody hard work doing this myself. All day and all night I handle this. I manage the house and the bills and the cats and I work my arse off to be the best mother I can be. It’s tough and it’s tiresome, and it feels like there is just never a break. Friends talk about desperately clinging on till half past five when their partner walks in and takes over – I cannot imagine how wonderful that would be. It’s a huge amount of responsibility too – everything rests on my shoulders.
  • It’s lonely. Being a stay at home parent is lonely enough, but at least through the day I can usually find somewhere to go or someone to hang out with.  Evenings are a different matter. Everyone is with their families, doing what normal families do. At our house, there’s just me and Rosie and then Rosie goes to bed and there’s just me, with no one to talk to and no one to cuddle.

 

Now, I know that all of that above sounds like a huge moan, and of course it’s not all bad. I consider myself very lucky to have a wonderful husband that sacrifices his time with our daughter to go and work, so that I can be at home all the time. And of course it’s fantastic that our finances are arranged so that I don’t have to go to work. But that doesn’t change the reality of our situation, the difficulty of seeing my daughter run into my bedroom on a Monday morning shouting for the Daddy she absolutely adores, or how hard it is that she associates Daddy with work (I’ll often catch her saying to herself, ‘Where Daddy? Daddy work.’)

But mostly, I wanted to raise some awareness and I wanted to send out a message to other people in my situation – we may be a somewhat neglected subset of parents, but I see you out there, holding your family together, navigating this strange sea with a partner who is only sometimes there. It’s an odd kind of twilight we’re in, but I see you and I get it. I can’t promise you it will get any better, but I can promise you you’re not alone.

Holding on

You’re sleeping. Your little pink rosebud mouth is pursed, your beautiful cornflower blue eyes closed and dreaming, soft baby curls on your pillow. Your busy little toddler body is finally at rest, sprawled out in your cot with your softie still clutched between your fingers. You are my best girl.

It doesn’t seem like so long ago that you were a tiny baby, so new and so fragile and sleeping on my chest. You had the same rosebud mouth, and the same baby blue eyes. And I’d kiss your little bald head and dream about your future, and all the fun we’d have together.

I left my job and the life I had known to have you, and to stay home with you while you grew. I told everyone I did it for you, so that you’d have the benefit of me being there everyday. But really, selfishly, I did it for me.

You see, you would be the only one. I never wanted anymore babies, I only wanted you. And I wanted to savour every moment of your littleness, to make memories with you and be there for all your triumphs and all your failures. I wanted to be the one to hear your first words, see your first steps, give you your first and last kiss everyday.

And I do, and it’s wonderful and I love it.

But oh, it is so bittersweet. All your firsts are my lasts. My last pregnancy. My last newborn. My last teething, my last weaning, my last middle of the night feeds. My last babywearing.

And although I don’t want any more babies, it does make me terribly sad that I’ll never get the chance to do any of this again. And that you won’t have the experience of having siblings. I sometimes wonder if we’re doing the right thing by you, not giving you a brother or a sister. But then I know myself and my own limitations too well, and I know I would struggle. Besides, my heart is still too full of you for anyone else.

In the meantime, you’re growing up faster than I could have possibly imagined. Just yesterday you were asleep on my chest, an extension of me. Now you’re two whole years old, you have your own opinions and your own ideas and you’re becoming fiercely independent.

There is one constant though, one thing I cling to. Once you slept on my chest, as a newborn in a stretchy, and now you sleep on my back in a wrap. We’re two separate people, you and I, but we still find solace in being bound together by beautiful fabrics.

When you’re having a bad day, when I’m struggling, I know I can put you up in a carrier and we’ll both calm down. I can whisper sweet secrets to you up there, and you can watch the world from over my shoulder in safety and comfort. When you’re tired, and your little legs just won’t go any further, I know I can wrap you and we can both find ease. You can sleep knowing I’m close and I can breathe in your beautiful scent and delight in knowing you still need me.

It’s such a wonderful thing, being able to carry you still. I savour every second of it, because I know that the time left for us to do it is flying. Soon, too soon, you won’t want to be carried anymore and I will miss you and the closeness more than I can say, or even want to imagine.

But I promise, my best girl, I promise, I will carry you for as long as is possible. As long as you need me to, I will always have a wrap on hand and I will always wrap you, because one day I won’t be able to, one day you’ll want to run in front with your friends or ride your bike or your scooter and you won’t need me anymore. You’ll be big enough and confident enough to take the world on without my help.

And then I’ll sell my wraps. I’ll keep one or two here for friends that have babies and are interested in learning how to carry, but I’ll sell the rest so that other families can experience the magic that we did. I’ll be sad to do it but wraps are no good to anybody sat on a shelf, they need to be worn and loved, used as impromptu picnic blankets and hammocks and snuggled on chilly days.

But I’ll never be able to truly let go, I think. How can I, when it has been such a big part of our lives? When we have spent hours and days learning to love each other inside metres of woven fabric?

So when you’re running ahead with your friends, if you look back and happen to recognise the pattern on the scarf I’m wearing, well, that’s just my little way of remembering when you were tiny, and you needed me.

Love you my best girl,

Mum xx

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