I often get asked questions when I’m out and about and baby wearing. By friends, family, and even random strangers. And I know that nine times out of ten, they are purely curious about something they may not have seen before. And nine times out of ten, I am happy to calmly and politely answer questions. But sometimes, whether it be down to a bad day, being tired, being asked the same question once too often, or people being just plain rude, I really really want to be snarky. I’m not, because I don’t believe it would help to promote baby wearing in a positive light, but sometimes I really want to be. Of course, if the questioner was genuinely interested in carrying I’d be happy to answer all and any questions. I just sometimes get a bit fed up of being treated like a freak when I go to Asda. On that note, I thought I’d share with you some of my most frequently asked questions, how I’d sometimes like to answer them, and how I actually answer them.
1. Is that safe?
What, this? No, not really. I did it for a dare.
Yes, very much so. These buckles/straps/passes here prevent her from falling out, and she’s nice and high and tight.
2. Does it hurt your back?
Yes, I am a martyr and believe I can only be a good mum if I am suffering every second of every day.
No, not at all. You see these wide straps and the way the carrier goes round my back? Her weight is distributed evenly so it’s very comfy. Carrying her in arms and using a carrier is like comparing stilettos and trainers. When all the weight is concentrated in one place it hurts after a short time. When it’s distributed evenly over a larger surface area, it’s much easier to bear.
3. Can’t you afford a pram?
Lady, if you saw how much some of my carriers cost you’d be clutching pearls.
Yes, I can, and I do have one. I just prefer to use carriers.
4. Do you want some help? (While I am getting her into a wrap or carrier. Particularly back carries.)
No I freaking don’t. Sod off.
No thanks, I actually learnt how to do this on a training course. I am also qualified as a Peer Supporter which means I can help others too. And it’s really important that I listen to my centre of balance in order to do this right. Thanks though.
5. Aren’t you afraid she’ll never walk?
I’m not keeping her a fecking prisoner in it .
She’ll walk when she’s good and ready, in much the same way that babies who use prams do.
6. Wouldn’t she be better in a pram so she can see?
Did… did I accidentally blind her when I put her in the carrier?
Actually, she can see fine over my shoulder and to either side of her. In a pram she would be at knee height to most adults, which can make socialising difficult.
7. Won’t that make her clingy?
Yes, of course. That’s the intention. I am deliberately trying to sabotage my own child.
No. Actually, studies into attachment shows that when a child has a good, solid, bond with a parent or primary carer, they feel more confident to be away from that parent/carer because they feel secure that they will return. Baby wearing helps to promote that bond.
8. Where did you learn about that?
The one question that I will never answer sarcastically, even in my own head.
I’m so glad you asked! This is the Facebook group I’m in, this is the local library, here is where sling meets happen, and here is some more info that explains all about different carriers. I’m happy to show you some more of mine, and you can borrow some to try if you wish. Oh, and feel free to ask me any questions…